My New Self-Help Book

I had an idea the other day: I’m going to write a self-help book.

My only chapter or whatever it is so far is this suggestion:  when you’re feeling good, and you know sooner or later you’re going to be feeling bad, you might as well write your suicide note now.  That way, you’ll have the energy and wit that it takes to pull something like that off, ‘cuz you know you’re gonna be feeling like shit when you’re about to do the deed.

Obviously, this will be geared toward the manic-depressives types, but maybe not exclusively.  It could be geared towards AIDS patients, too, or anyone suffering from some terribly terminal disease.

Also, do you think I’d have to write my suicide note now if I was really going to pull this off?  If so, I’m not sure I have the inspiration yet.  That I haven’t thought of.  Maybe I should watch 4 Months, Two Days, and 7 hours, or whatever that horribly depressing film about illegal abortion was.

Here’s a thought: write eulogies for your friends and family!  I catch myself thinking about what I would say at so and so’s funeral all the time.  (You do it, too).  And you better believe Percy Shelley had something in mind before Keats croaked.

(I won’t say who I’ve written eulogies for, because you all would freak out on me.)